This is one of those days that life feels a little bit harder than it should be. It’s 4:00 in the afternoon and all of the lights are on; it’s that dark outside.
Everything normal is in place. I ate breakfast and lunch (which I hear many in the world go without). I worked, I had tea. I even laughed a few good non-fake laughs, but when it’s quiet, its like the sounds of my soul won’t stop screaming.
Jesus, I need you. It’s not a choice. Perhaps once it felt that way– do I give God all or not? Do I go pray now or not? But now it’s as if God and I catch eyes from across the room, and He’s reading my lips, ”I need you.”
I know we’re supposed to pray constantly, and maybe I was trying today, but I forget to really pray. The kind where you excuse yourself from the company of activity and seek the company of “I AM.” The kind of praying where you know that you are completely dependent on Him, because you can feel the stirring, that longing for a heaven that you could never have unless he gives it.
I’m pretty sure that’s why he gives me days like these when the sun sleeps behind thick clouds for hours and never shows. Sometimes he hushes all other lights and sounds that we deem sufficient, so we remember that only He suffices.
We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature – trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence… We need silence to be able to touch souls. -Blessed Mother Teresa
I can completely relate to this and wrote a blog similar earlier today. It’s days like these that make me thankful for his grace, because I know I can’t survive on my own.
thanks for posting this today, Justina !